I suppose the headline got your attention.
What I am advocating will do more than just improve your marital relations. It will help you intellectually and will result in your being a happier person and a person who is well in his own skin.
From a Google search:
The French phrase for being well in your own skin is être bien dans sa peau. It translates directly to “to be well in one’s skin” and implies a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and comfort with oneself.
So what is the magic pill that will have this effect?
It is a mixture of an open attitude to sex and Buddhist mindfulness and non judgment as applied to your own sex impulses and urges. This involves a non judgmental acceptance of everything you think and feel regarding sex.
I want to stress that what I am advocating is an aristocratic and not democratic ideal. I do not expect everyone in society to accept and act according to what I am proposing. It is enough if a few people who are highly educated and cultured accept my advice and act according to it.
Most people are not very well educated and it is futile to tell them anything that does not fit with their own preconceptions and prejudices. They will only laugh at you and may even take offence. What I am advocating involves working to free yourself of your ego to some extent. That is something that the majority of people have never done in all the history of mankind.
That is why I am saying that this is an aristocratic and not democratic ideal.
As to how to follow my instructions: I will refer you to some good books on Buddhist meditation. The works of Thich Nhat Hanh are good, especially The Miracle of Mindfulness. Just do a search for the book at Amazon or Flipkart or Google Books.
How will this help you feel better?
If you accept yourself without judgment or condemnation it stands to reason that you will feel better about yourself. You are not making yourself miserable thinking and feeling that you are a bad person.
And how will it help relations with your spouse?
Here I will invoke the authority of no less a person than William Shakespeare. In the play, Hamlet, he writes:
To thine own self be true and then it follows as the night the day that thou cannot be false to any man.
The way we treat ourselves is reflected and is the same as the way we treat others. If you judge and condemn yourself you will judge others. If you accept and empathize with yourself you will accept others.
I am sure you will accept that you will have better relations with your spouse if you accept and empathize with him or her. And especially when it comes to such an important area of life as sex.
Now just talking about sex may make some people uncomfortable and awkward. Take it from me – this is just the ego acting up. Continue with your mindfulness and meditation practices and apply them to your feelings of awkwardness. They will pass away as everything does. Impermanence is a fact of life and one of the cornerstones of Buddhism.
If you decide that you absolutely cannot do what I am advocating because you are feeling so awkward then by all means disregard what I am saying. As I said earlier what I am teaching is an aristocratic doctrine and is not meant for everyone. Feel free to ignore what I said and go your own way.
There are many paths to the Divine.
Here are the links to the other two blogs in this three part series
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