I’ll start by explaining my motives for publishing this blog. Simply put, I want to earn some money and not be dependent on my family. I also want a more active social life. I am hoping this blog will allay the suspicions of people who are in a position to help but do not want to take chances because they are not sure of me. I also want to convince people that I am not a fool who doesn’t know what is going on in his life.
Like it or not I am controversial and have been victimized. People should know I have put it behind me and do not hold a grudge. Also, unless I know what has happened in my own life, how can I advise people and expect them to take me seriously. This is what people will expect of me. I was thought to be foolish in Accounting circles for decades because I did not know what was happening in my life so I know this is important.
I had some reservations that this might be perceived as washing dirty linen in public but I am convinced that most people already know what has happened in my life. So none of the facts presented here are confidential. In addition I have taken the permission of my parents before publishing.
Anyway to begin the topic I admit that it is true that at various points in my life I was filled with so much rage and hate that a lesser person would have either committed suicide or done something to cause him to be arrested.
I have already spoken many times about my being victimized. I will not flog a dead horse. If you are interested in my mental state, it is described in the blog below. But you need not read it unless you are really interested. This para and the earlier one have mentioned all that you need to know:
I’ll start with the reasons why I stayed on in India post the year 2006 despite my feeling the way I did:
- I did not want to be used as a pawn by politicians in foreign countries who might have wanted to target India.
- I wanted to spend time with my books and with philosophy.
- Because I had been humiliated repeatedly I did not want to marry
- I did not want to work at a job. I had been harassed at the workplace for a number of years and that has led to this feeling of aversion.
- India is a low cost of living country and I could conserve my savings here.
- I completely misread the situation and the attitude of powerful people here in India. I did not know I had offended them as badly as I had and that they would come after me with such venom.
In any case my reputation had been destroyed worldwide and I would have found it difficult to find a good job anywhere in the world.
All this above gives you the context. As I said above, the motive for writing this blog was to explain why I can be trusted. I will not do anything to create mischief and have put my grudges behind me. The reasons are as under:
- I have already got my pound of flesh. This concept is from the Shakespearean play The Merchant of Venice. I believe in the teaching of the Bible – An eye for an eye. I have already got satisfaction due to certain events that I cannot speak about.
- I take the way I was treated as a backhanded compliment. If my adversaries were ill treating me as badly as they were I must have done them a good amount of mischief.
- I know what has happened and why and am not the victim of deceit. The feeling of having been betrayed is not there.
- I have a healthy fear of the police.
- I take spirituality seriously and am willing to leave vengeance to God. More details of what might possibly happen after death if you behave badly are given in the blog below:
https://insightsandexperiences.com/dealing-with-terror-outfits/ - Due to the fact that I have trained as a Chartered Accountant and my reading philosophy I have a healthy respect for the law (although I may have committed crimes unknowingly). I may not respect the police (although I fear them) but I respect the law. I had read somewhere that two of the greatest men in history – Abraham Lincoln and Mahatma Gandhi – also respected the law because of their being trained lawyers. That is a good example for me to follow.
- Also it’s been many years since all these events happened and I have done nothing to harm anyone.
So that’s basically it. I have spent a major portion of my life in a sort of open air jail for real and supposed crimes. This blog has been written hoping to convince people that I do not hold a grudge and that it is safe for them to hire me.
One of my favorite philosophers – Bertrand Russell – also was imprisoned for his convictions for a certain length of time. So I am in good company. At least I like to think so.
Update: One of the persons who vetted my blog before publishing told me that my being open about the fact that I believe in an eye for an eye and think nothing wrong that I was filled with hate for long periods would work against me because it is not the view that the authorities want people to adopt. They would prefer people to accept Mahatma Gandhi’s dictum of “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”
I have given my views on these subjects in the blogs below:
So that deals with that. Mahatma Gandhi gave India its freedom. I don’t think I am disrespecting him by holding my independent views.
Update 2: It has come to my notice that the reason I am not trusted may be much simpler than that. I am not trusted simply because I used to tell lies when I was young.
I have changed as a person and I know what is important and what is not. I am not about to lie in important issues.
I’ll end here. Please share this article on WhatsApp, FB and X and let me have your comments. Feedback from my readers keeps me going.
I am looking for paid consultancy work. If you are interested please get in touch with me at nikhil dot gangoli @ gmail dot com. Do not use the Comments or Contact Me forms.