I was of a very malicious and envious temperament when I was young. With the result that I am still suffering to this day.
Indian society is scarred by the memory of the rioting and loss of life that took place at the time of partition. There are also politicians who are willing to bend the law and appease their constituents. As a result anything that results in the common man feeling aggravated is looked upon with a lot of seriousness by the authorities.
By authorities I mean the police since it is their job to maintain law and order in the country within their respective jurisdictions.
So because of my toxic personality (and the fact that I told lies and took an open interest in high society girls and was rude to my family and elders and also because of my being a potential genius) the police have been keeping their eye on me ever since I was a teenager.
I was thought to be Adolf Hitler in some (very high society) circles.
But I can claim this much to my credit – I have never at any time caused a riot or caused anyone to be killed or committed any other heinous crime. Ha ha.
Now what was the response of (some elements of) Indian society to my antics:
It was harassment. In the form of getting people to ape my obnoxious behaviour that caused aggravation. Ridicule. Social ostracism. Slander and character assasination. Entrapment. Putting me under surveillance and circulating videos of my bad behavior. Blacklisting me from jobs (although to be fair I was never a competent Chartered Accountant). A conspiracy of silence or deliberate deceit to cover their crimes.
And once they thought that I was punished enough they thought that they could buy my acceptance and induce me to leave India. I definitely should have left India but that is another story.
I am not blaming the authorities for these actions. I will say this. They probably knew what was going on and did nothing about it. They had enough (much more serious) cases to tackle and they must have thought of me as a person of bad character. I was also from another community. They must have seen me as a potential troublemaker and wanted me out of Mumbai. Also I never at any time approached them or registered a case.
I was more sinned against than sinning. If my tormentors did not like me they could have proceeded against me lawfully by registering FIRs for whatever crimes I had committed. Obviously that was not enough for them.
So what is the takeaways for any youngster who is in a similar situation as I was when I was young:
- Be aware that there is a lot of politics in India. Within the community and also in between communities. In my case the community to which I belong do not have a state of their own. So my community is at the mercy of the majority.
- Be aware also that as a means of getting you to suffer your tormentors will target your family, friends and community. So they may turn against you.
- Deal with the rough edges of your personality. Malice, envy, disobedience and having a toxic personality in social situations are not punishable crimes as per the penal code but if you cause offence then it is taken very seriously in India. So start a self help project. Deal with your negative feelings through Buddhist meditation and mindfulness practices.
- I also did a lot of reading and came across a number of constructive role models. Exposing myself to their company repeatedly enabled me to change my personality. In particular I liked Dick Francis novels.
- Also a message to the authorities: I was a troublemaker when I was young but I think I have more than made up for it with my contributions to society later in life. These contributions include but are not limited to my blog. So don’t be too harsh on wayward youth.
- Lastly all progress depends on eccentrics like me who take the road less travelled by. If everyone did what their parents did and what their parents told them to do then mankind would still have been living in caves in Africa. So make due allowances for unconventional people and misfits.
If you read some James Michener novels you will get a good idea of the qualities that are required of citizens to build a nation. Of course these novels praise individuality and in India (because of the threat of communal violence) conformity is valued. The authorities need to strike the right balance between the two.
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