Having survived and reached the age of almost 60 years (more by luck than by judgment and by the unfailing generosity of my family) I am in a good position to know what mistakes I made and what I would tell a 20 year old version of myself. The life lessons (not in any particular order) I have learned are:
- Be humble and polite and not arrogant (especially with your elders). If you do not feel that way then fake it. Life throws enough challenges and difficulties at you without your seeking trouble. And in India there is a lot of importance to respecting elders and not inconveniencing people in your social circle. Which brings me to my second point.
- Be an island unto yourself. This is one of the basic teachings of Buddhism. Be self sufficient as to your emotional and financial needs as quickly as possible. Don’t pester people for company or overstay your welcome as a guest.
- Take seriously the following few sentences of Bertrand Russell – All men are scoundrels, at any rate, almost all. Those who are not have been exceptionally lucky, either by way of their birth and upbringing, or by way of the circumstances in which they found themselves or both. That means – when in doubt assume that the person you meet is a scoundrel and may have bad motives towards you. Be slow to trust people unless you really know them well.
- As regards sensitive information (about your finances for example) operate on a need to know basis. I have been badly burned by being robbed of my savings when I rashly trusted a person whom I had known for years and thought was my friend with sensitive financial information.
- The next indispensable point is the old chestnut from the Bible – When in Rome do as the Romans do. Unless there is a point of principle involved adopt the customs and the practices of the city and country that you are living in.
- Read The Art of War by Sun Tzu. This will help you in the battles that you will perforce have to face in life, on the job, at home with your family and so on.
- Live, experience and reflect. Digest the lessons that life throws at you. It will take time to digest all the lessons. In my case it took me more than 50 years to learn three very basic life skills – humility, prudence and empathy.
- Teach yourself to think in a detached way. Sherlock Holmes is a good role model.
- Learn to be emotionally balanced. This quality is according to Warren Buffett the whole difference between success and failure in the stock markets. There are many people who know as much about the stock markets as Warren Buffett does. But only he has made billions.
- Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone; embrace failure as a friend and keep learning new skills (or practicing old ones).
- Learn and master the technical skills and interpersonal skills that you need on order to earn. Do not be a dependent financially beyond a certain age. It is no fun being unable to provide for yourself. Bhagavan Krishna spoke of this in the Bhagavad Gita.
I hope you were able to understand this article and will find it useful. I have been very brief in stating all the points. Any questions – just ask.
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