The books I have read have affected my life internally and externally.
Regarding the internal changes I will write another blog. The external changes are also interesting and I think you can learn something from my experiences.
I remember a visit to a lady psychiatrist more than 20 years ago. I had retired at the ripe old age of 35 and she asked me how I spent my time. I told her I did a lot of reading and showed her the James Michener novel I was reading at that time. Her reaction was instructive. She asked me if everyone in the country could be expected to read such books. She was worried about what would happen if everyone behaved the same way I did.
Related to this is another incident around 30 years ago. I was advised by a mature person from my community that I was getting into trouble because I was an unconventional person. The message was that I should change myself and behave the way everyone else does.
Looking back on these two incidents I can say this about the motives of the people who advised me:
- Firstly my unconventional behaviour that was partly caused by my reading was exciting comment and irritating people. There was the threat of communal violence and also harassment of my family and community.
- Secondly there are power games involved. People (including the authorities) did not want to encourage the reading of the sort of books I liked. It was felt (rightly so) that if everyone read the books I did they would stand up for their rights and inconvenience the authorities. These books spoke of liberty, equality and fraternity which may be written in the Indian constitution but are not practiced on a day to day basis by people in India.
- There was the threat of slander and character assassination relating to my family and community. This would have made it difficult for my community members to find jobs. So that explains why I was given the advice I was.
- This is also evidence of caste and linguistic rivalries and a feudal outlook on the part of the two individuals I referred to. I was a disobedient youngster and they could not tolerate such behaviour as it might incite others. Obedience is much valued in a feudal society.
For these reasons I think authorities have had their eye on me ever since I was very young. It was recognised that I was a potential genius (I have to thank my parents for the genes they bequeathed me). That combined with my reading habits and eccentric behaviour caused by my psychological complexes made me a person of interest as a potential troublemaker.
Another result of my reading is that I became well known in British and American high society. I spent a lot of time in the British library and this was noted and relayed to VIPs outside India.
This of course is another reason I was distrusted in India. There is a lot of hatred and suspicion of the Western countries in India as a result of centuries of exploitation. The fact that I was taking such keen interest and delight in the culture of these countries was looked down upon in India.
So what are the lessons, the takeaways for any youngster who is interested in reading philosophy and other serious books?
The first thing to note is that the law is on your side. Nobody can stop you from reading whatever you want to read unless the book has been banned by the government (as they did some Salman Rushdie novels).
But at the same time it has to be said that the facts on the ground are what they are. People in India are not very well educated; there is a feudal outlook; there are caste and linguistic rivalries and power games; there is the threat of character assassination and slander which will make it difficult to find jobs and earn; you might be socially ostracized; the civil and criminal justice system is in a mess and there is the ever present danger of harassment and communal violence. Given this situation people who don’t like what you are doing are in a position to do you an enormous amount of harm. Understand and accept these realities.
But don’t stop reading. All progress of society and the human race depends on the misfits. Remember what Steve Jobs said. Here is a relevant quote on that:
The correct statement is “Stay hungry, stay foolish.” It means that one should never be content with what is, nor consider oneself an expert. There is always more to do / gain (“stay hungry” for knowledge) and more to learn (“stay foolish”, meaning never consider oneself an expert but a fool in order to learn more).
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