What I have gained from books I did not understand

I used to do a lot of mindless reading when I was young.

Mindless reading meaning:

1. Reading without forethought or afterthought
2. I used to skim all books I read regardless of whether they were serious books or novels.
3. I used to register the meaning of the words I read. But I was missing the forest for the trees. If you had asked me to explain what I had read I would not have been able to tell you.

Much of this was pure escapism. I did not want to face up to the demons within me. I had psychological issues and lacked friends and company and so kept compulsively busy reading and walking.

Now you may think that I gained nothing from reading those books. In fact, the books I read may have only confused me in the short run. I needed professional help when I was young, not heavy duty philosophy.

But now, decades later, I am reaping the benefits. How did that happen?

If you look at some of the books I read repeatedly at times (like the essays of Emerson) you will find that they have long sentences with abstract concepts that you will not easily understand. The words (in the sentences) were such that you only have a vague idea of their meaning.

I was reminded of these experiences recently when I was reading a book by Jonathan Rowson: The Moves that Matter: A Chess Grandmaster on the Game of Life. I read a few pages without understanding too much (just skimming) and then all of a sudden I came across a sentence that more than repaid me for my efforts. Here is the sentence:

Aldous Huxley famously wrote that “experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you.”

The Moves that Matter: A Chess Grandmaster on the Game of Life : Rowson, Jonathan

I think I will remind myself of this sentence when I start feeling sorry for myself thinking that I have had a raw deal from life.

Because of the fact that I read philosophy and spirituality (especially Buddhist mindfulness) and took it seriously I can tell myself that I have had a good life. I did not understand well over 70% of what I read in my philosophy books. But some of the bits that I did understand I tried to put into practice with some degree of sincerity at least.

Overall I am quite content (not ecstatic of course) with the choices I made and the position I am in. Eckhart Tolle would call it my life situation. But let’s not talk about awareness related concepts and practices here.

So what are the takeaways for you from this blog:

1. Aldous Huxley’s sentence
2. The old chestnut – Action speaks louder than words.

I think that if a youngster finds just one sentence in a whole book that he puts into practice then just that much may be enough to transform his whole life. I am speaking from experience.

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