The whole day today – Sunday, 7 March 2021 – I was feeling a little depressed and low. I had a list of things to do even on Sunday and I could not bring myself to do them.
In the ordinary course I would beat up on myself for feeling depressed. And feel even more low following that. And taking the line of least resistance that is exactly what I did.
Mark Manson has described this in his excellent self help book – The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck. He describes it as the feedback loop from hell. Quoting from the book:
There’s an insidious quirk to your brain that, if you let it, can drive you absolutely batty. Tell me if this sounds familiar to you: You get anxious about confronting somebody in your life. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Oh no! Doubly anxious! Now you’re anxious about your anxiety, which is causing more anxiety. Quick, where’s the whiskey?
Welcome to the Feedback Loop from Hell. Chances are you’ve engaged in it more than a few times. Maybe you’re engaging in it right now: “God, I do the Feedback Loop all the time— I’m such a loser for doing it. I should stop. Oh my God, I feel like such a loser for calling myself a loser. I should stop calling myself a loser. Ah, fuck! I’m doing it again! See? I’m a loser! Argh!”
Mark Manson has his own advice from defeating this behaviour. I would recommend your reading the book to find out. But this article is about what I have figured out from my reading of spirituality and what has worked for me today.
I reminded myself of three concepts that are found in traditional wisdom:
- First point is to accept your feeling low as the will of God. I do suppose most of you do believe in God. The key is to accept what is going on and not beat up on yourself for it and feel even more depressed. If you have faith in God you should be able to do this. God is responsible for the blood circulating in our bodies; the internal organs in our body function through his will and not because of the ego or our conscious attention. So if it his will that we are to feel low then just accept it.
- The second concept is the teaching that life is suffering. This is the main teaching used by Buddhism to inspire us to practice spirituality. If life is suffering and will remain so until we attain Nirvana then what is so surprising that we should suffer. Simply endure. It will end in due course (another key Buddhist teaching).
- The third tip is to simply get busy and distract yourself. Work. Dale Carnegie has a whole chapter on this method as a way to keep ourselves going. You must have heard of his classic self help book – How to stop worrying and start Living.
I am happy to say that now at 7 in the evening I have started working on my to-do list. Earlier I used to feel depressed for days. I suppose I have become more mature.
As the common saying goes – You cannot not think of a pink elephant. Don’t try.
I’ll end here. Please explore this blog for more articles on Spirituality, Self Help and Politics. Please comment on the articles if you liked them or even if you didn’t. Feedback from my readers keep me going.
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