The headline might interest you. I have behaved foolishly for long periods of time in my life. None of them lasted as long as when I spent 9 years in cafes in Mumbai and Pune post the year 2006.
You must bear with me. I may well be an eccentric genius. I am capable of flashes of brilliance and I also behave in ways that might (politely) be called self destructive.
One of the main reasons is that I have, for decades, tried not to care what people think of me. Ever since I read Emerson’s Essay on Self Reliance that is. Link is below. So the restrictions that people impose upon themselves because they respect and fear public opinion simply do not apply to me. This makes possible both eccentric as well as brilliant behaviour.
https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/selfreliance.html
One of the other main reasons is that I did not understand my relationship with society. I have now understood it and for that reason I am more likely to behave conventionally.
You might be wondering how a person could spend 9 years in a cafe doing nothing in particular except drink coffee and some reading. I myself feel that way sometimes now when I look back on my life. But I have only to remind myself of my mental state during those years (this is not something you can do). I was also simply unaware of what people thought of me and why. As a result I could not make sense of a lot of how people responded to me. I wanted to understand the situation before I committed to a relationship or took up a job.
The problem was that nobody trusted me with sensitive information when I had nothing to lose. Had I been married with a family to support, they may have trusted me with sensitive information. I had to figure everything out myself. And it took a good long period of time. Now I have understood what has happened in my life but I am also 59 years old and of not much interest or use to anybody.
To put it briefly – I was in self destruct mode. And it required a hard rap on my knuckles before I came to my senses.
I simply ran out of money to spend on cafes. So that put paid to that phase.
A lot of people who have been harassed the way I was have started drinking or worse. So my behaviour was not as extreme as it could have been.
Now you may ask why it took me 59 years to understand some things that were common gossip and obvious to everyone else. The reasons are a bit complicated and partly private and sensitive. I was the victim of a conspiracy of silence and as the blog below explains I was also a slow learner. If you are at all interested please visit the link below. You will learn something that may really be of use to you.
I hope you liked my article and it will be useful to you. Please share it on WhatsApp, FB and X and let me have your comments.
I am looking for paid consultancy work. If you think I can give you value please get in touch with me at nikhil dot gangoli @ gmail dot com. Do not use the Comments or Contact Me forms.