I am facing a lack of respect from society. I made my choices and they were bad ones (in some respects) and now I simply have to live with the consequences.
But there is one guiding principle which helps both to make sound decisions and to live with lack of respect from people you meet. It is this – You have not come to this earth to win or participate in a popularity contest.
Now, what I am saying is definitely opposed to conventional wisdom. In India much importance is given to being respected. And being respected is not just pleasant and makes you feel good. It also helps in earning a living. I have been blacklisted from jobs and socially ostracized so I know that these are the possible consequences if you offend people.
But this is just worldly wisdom. It is not a very high ethical standard.
I was in a situation where I had to make a virtue out of a necessity and tell myself that I am not here to be popular. I will not dwell on the reasons why. There was much that was wrong with me and also much that was wrong with society. Let me leave it at that.
And what are the spiritual or philosophical teachings that say that we are not here to be popular? Quoting from Emerson’s essay on Self Reliance:
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude …
The bystanders look askance on him in the public street or in the friend’s parlor. If this aversion had its origin in contempt and resistance like his own he might well go home with a sad countenance; but the sour faces of the multitude, like their sweet faces, have no deep cause—disguise no god, but are put on and off as the wind blows and a newspaper directs.
https://www.owleyes.org/text/self-reliance
In the New Testament also Jesus makes a point to specifically address this issue. Here are the results of a Google search (for the phrase – what does jesus say about respecting public opinion):
Jesus taught that Christians should respect authority, including public authorities, while also remaining loyal to God.
This is a more balanced teaching than Emerson. Don’t go out looking for trouble and when in Rome do what the Romans do. But the important point is that we should be loyal to God.
Here are the results of another search (for the phrase – jesus on wanting respect of society):
According to the Bible, Jesus did not actively seek the respect of society, instead focusing on spreading his message of love and compassion, often prioritizing the marginalized and disregarded members of society, which sometimes put him at odds with the established authorities; his primary concern was to follow God’s will, not to gain societal approval.
This ties in with the findings of modern science. The Universe is an organic whole and our position (as cells in the body of the Universe) is to serve the Universe (or God). This is the purpose of life. Not trying to be popular or respected.
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