A close acquaintance of mine responded to my earlier post (https://insightsandexperiences.com/do-good-to-those-who/). Here is her reply.
Acquaintance: The first premises here is “forgive those that trespass against you.” It’s there in the Lord’s Prayer and has been a great source of strength and inner peace for me.
True it isn’t easy. But once you start consciously practicing it, it becomes easier each time until it becomes a part of your nature.
Forgiveness is a balm and a panacea for the anger and hatred that arises in us everytime we are slighted or insulted. Anger and hatred are the normal reaction but
do no good for us. They cause stress and tension which in turn cause our blood pressure to rise, our hearts to beat wildly and our minds to play tricks on us by suggesting vengeance and hateful acts of revenge.
Say to yourself, or even better, to the source of your hurt, “I forgive you” or “Its ok. I understand.” and feel the stress and tension fall away and your heart calm down. Its certainly not easy to say it to the source of your hurt. If you can’t bring yourself to say it to them, say it to yourself. Again and again until you mean it.
I can’t get over Christ hanging from the cross being able to say “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The only other human I know of who could follow suit was Gandhiji. Though he was a proud Hindu he borrowed and learned from other religions, particularly Christianity and Buddhism, and was never ashamed to admit that.
And if you have to find inner peace you have to stop even thinking of the wrong done to you. Put it all behind you and close the chapter forever, lest the memories should raise their ugly heads and work on your mind. Only then will it have a chance to work .
And believe me, it does
My response: You are telling about a higher morality than what I spoke of. But that is the beauty of the scriptures. They lend themselves to interpretations based on the capacity of the person reading them. Glad you liked my post
Acquaintance: I look at it less as a scripture than a crutch, a much needed support in troubling times. But don’t imagine I am able to unthink every thing. The difference is that when I do think about bitter experiences I am able to do so without my heart going berserk!
Her response reminded me of the ethics of Immanuel Kant who said something similar. From a Google search:
Kant argues that one can have moral worth (i.e., be a good person) only if one is motivated by morality. In other words, if a person’s emotions or desires cause them to do something, then that action cannot give them moral worth.
I’ll end with another excellent quote. It is regarding self-mortification which is a traditional Christian practice. The self-mortification practices prescribed for Dame Gertrude More by Augustine Baker, the author of Holy Wisdom:
First that she should do all that belonged to her to do by any law human or Divine. Secondly that she should refrain from doing those things that were forbidden her by human or Divine law. Thirdly that she should bear with as much patience or resignation as possible all crosses and contradictions to her natural will which were inflicted by the hand of God. Such, for instance, were aridities, temptations, afflictions or bodily pain, sickness and infirmity; or again the loss of friends or the want of necessaries and comforts. All this was to be endured patiently whether the crosses came directly from God or by means of his creatures … These indeed were mortifications enough for Dame Gertrude or for any other soul and there was no need for anyone to advice or impose others.
There is nothing in the above quotation that we cannot all follow except the bit about following God’s law (which we may not accept). Suffer, endure and hold your peace.
And it is a comfort to know that when we do so in the face of afflictions, we are doing something that will help us attain and experience God.
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