I am sorry for revisiting this topic. It happens to be a particular favorite of mine; a teaching that I try – sometimes ineffectively but sincerely – to apply as I go through the day. Judge not that you be not judged – that says it all. The rest of this blog is basically just gloss.
So what should you do when you are treated badly?
Returning measure for measure is one response. Turning the other cheek is another. One what basis should you choose?
Gurcharan Das has written a very interesting book The Difficulty of Being Good. This book is based on the Mahabharata and discusses many ethical issues. If you are interested in ethics buy and read the book. It is well written and entertaining as well as instructive.
But in this article I would like to explain the question (what to do when you are treated badly) from a Christian viewpoint. Following are the teachings of the Bible (not exact quotations but which make my point):
- Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
- Judge not that you be not judged
- God will separate the wheat from the chaff
There is another relevant quote – this time from the Koran – which says that Man is indeed unjust and foolish. So such behavior is to be expected. And people don’t have to account for their actions to you. If they are being unjust and foolish it is between them and their maker. God will take them to task. Leave it to God to run the Universe.
Another relevant quote from Zen Buddhism is as under:
Be not concerned with right or wrong.
The conflict between right and wrong
Is the sickness of the mind.
Obviously we all need to have beliefs and opinions in our work a day world. The quote above is relevant if you find yourself brooding. And keep your judgements to a minimum. The Universe is under no obligation to change itself to suit your likes and dislikes. You are not in the business of judging people. That is the job of God almighty or of a judge in a court of law.
Another relevant point – this time not from a book but from my own experience – is that when you are treated badly it is perfectly natural and healthy to feel wretched. You feel bad. You feel anger and hate. The way forward is to deal with these feelings (endure them and have them pass away) and not to act on them. Buddhist meditation and mindfulness methods may be useful in this regard.
So basically I am trying to convince you to suffer, endure and hold your peace. God has created the Universe; He is running it. Let Him get on with the job. The Universe is an organic whole as per the findings of Quantum Physics. As such the only thing that matters is the well being and survival of the Universe. Our position is similar to that of cells within the human body. It does not really matter what happens to the cells as long as the body is in a state of well being.
I cannot describe to you what a feeling of ease and lightness it is to take these concepts seriously. You feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders.
Don’t allow your thoughts to run wild. Remind yourself over and over that God is running the Universe and we cannot expect to understand His will.
Osho says that what we see and experience and understand is similar to reading a single tattered page of a book. If you just read one page you cannot make sense of what is happening. You need to read the whole book in order truly know the meaning. And that is something that is not given to us (ordinary mortals) to do.
So when negative feelings arise (anger, rage wretchedness) when you are victimized deal with them mindfully and have them pass away (again Buddhist meditation methods may be useful). Tell yourself that God is running the Universe and we cannot expect to understand His will. Suffer, endure and hold your peace.
At the same time there is a related matter that makes being good difficult. Gurcharan Das explains this in his book that it is necessary for us to earn a living. For that it is necessary for us to get the cooperation of others. And when necessary it may be required to wield the rod and force people to cooperate. In other words force people to respect and (if required) fear you.
You need to understand and decide what is important to you as you go through life. Decide on a moment to moment basis (as the situations arise) how you want to deal with them – whether to turn the other cheek or wield the rod.
But even if you do have to wield the rod, do so sparingly and use the minimum amount of force required. It is a necessary evil so only do that which is necessary. Don’t do more than that.
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