I found myself brooding over injustices done to me on my morning walk today (13 May 2026).
Don’t worry I am not going to start recounting my being victimised again. There is no reason for anyone to be interested.
I will say a few things that should guide youngsters reading this blog. If you want to avoid the politics and authoritarianism in India it is still best to go abroad. But it is up to you to earn well which may not be possible unless you are highly qualified. You have to learn self reliance and look after yourself. Freedom comes with responsibilities and inconveniences.
It is one of the biggest mistakes of my life that I failed to take on these responsibilities. And that is why I find myself where I am now.
If you do decide to stay on in India do the following:
- Show respect, obey and conform to the extent you are able
- Deal with the rough edges of your personality. Causing offence is taken very seriously in India. This is a lifelong endeavour and involves freeing yourself of the ego which is perhaps the most worthwhile thing you can attempt in life (next to seeking God).
- Find the company of people whose values you share. I just came across this epiphany a couple of days ago – that my values and that of my family and community with whom I have spent my life are totally different. Try to avoid this sort of situation.
- Find the company of people who think in the same language that you do. A person who thinks in a different language from you has an entirely different outlook on life from you. This is part of the diversity of civilization and is to be celebrated. But it is best if you are in the company of like minded people and for that you should be with people who think in the same language as you.
There are probably other points I can list out but these are the only few that occur to me right now.
Anyway this blog is about letting go of grudges. I found myself thinking Advaitic thoughts in my morning walk and played with the following concepts:
- The ego is a fiction. A useful fiction like an app on a phone. We may not be able to do without it but it doesn’t really exist. It is an activity and not an entity.
- That being the case it makes sense to not dwell on grudges. If the ego does not exist then who or what has been harmed by the events you are brooding about? Simply think of something else. If you find that you are stuck on a particular thought then Buddhist mindfulness methods will be useful.
- Then also there is a concept in Advaita Vedanta that the whole world is dreamlike. You will find this concept in Buddhism also. If a thing is dreamlike then it means that it doesn’t really exist. It is just an appearance. Or rather there is no evidence that this is not an appearance. I will leave you to examine and digest the detailed reasoning behind this conclusion. Just read any good book on Advaita. I particularly recommend the publications of the Ramakrishna Mission.
- So if the entire world is dreamlike and no more than an appearance then why take your grudges seriously. Let go and simply think of something else. Present moment awareness and doing Buddhist mindfulness is a terrific way to spend your time.
Letting go is the primary spiritual objective of Buddhism. If you do just this much you will have taken serious steps to being enlightened. I have that on the authority of Jack Kornfield who spent more than a decade as a Buddhist monk.
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