Here are two more quotes from Emerson’s essay on Compensation. Link is below the quoted text:
Experienced men of the world know very well that it is best to pay scot and lot as they go along, and that a man often pays dear for a small frugality. The borrower runs in his own debt. Has a man gained any thing who has received a hundred favors and rendered none? Has he gained by borrowing, through indolence or cunning, his neighbour’s wares, or horses, or money? There arises on the deed the instant acknowledgment of benefit on the one part, and of debt on the other; that is, of superiority and inferiority. The transaction remains in the memory of himself and his neighbour; and every new transaction alters, according to its nature, their relation to each other. He may soon come to see that he had better have broken his own bones than to have ridden in his neighbour’s coach, and that “the highest price he can pay for a thing is to ask for it.”
A wise man will extend this lesson to all parts of life, and know that it is the part of prudence to face every claimant, and pay every just demand on your time, your talents, or your heart. Always pay; for, first or last, you must pay your entire debt. Persons and events may stand for a time between you and justice, but it is only a postponement. You must pay at last your own debt. If you are wise, you will dread a prosperity which only loads you with more. Benefit is the end of nature. But for every benefit which you receive, a tax is levied. He is great who confers the most benefits. He is base — and that is the one base thing in the universe — to receive favors and render none. In the order of nature we cannot render benefits to those from whom we receive them, or only seldom. But the benefit we receive must be rendered again, line for line, deed for deed, cent for cent, to somebody. Beware of too much good staying in your hand. It will fast corrupt and worm worms. Pay it away quickly in some sort.
I can testify that this principle of paying your debts and it being base to receive favors and render none is of much importance. Socially – in Indian society – it cannot be ignored. Do not take advantage of a person’s hospitality. If you dine at your friend’s house one day, make sure you invite him to dine at yours. Try to always take a small gift with you if you are paying a social visit to someone’s house.
Emerson of course lived in the USA and I am not sure if he ever came to India. So this basic principle is applicable also in the USA and pretty much everywhere I should think.
One of the reasons I have so few friends is that I ignored this basic principle in my social life. I won’t go into the other reasons. That is an article for another day. You may also be getting tired of my complaining that I have been victimized.
Having a friend circle and being a good host may be important for your career also. So this blog may be quite important for you if you are young and beginning your career. Best luck.
I first read Emerson as a teenager and merrily ignored the above lesson for decades. Why was I so foolish?
Because I was a slow learner. I won’t bore you with a list of my deficiencies. Link to the blog which explains how to deal with this defect is below:
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