Some time ago an acquaintance of mine who lived in Goa for a time told me that the Goan locals are unfriendly towards outsiders who buy property in Goa with the intention to live or settle there. He complained that this was because of the North Indians. He said North Indian people are disdainful towards people from other parts of their country and obviously the Goan locals don’t like it and are unfriendly for that reason.
I have had some experience with the unfriendly attitude of North Indians myself. During the time when I was in New Delhi. To be fair I was suffering from untreated mental ailments at that time and was behaving in an eccentric manner. I got the reputation of wanting to be adopted by a rich family and wanting to marry for money.
That reputation was undeserved but I cannot say that I did not behave in ways that would lead to misunderstandings.
Anyway this blog is about North Indians.
In my opinion North Indians are disdainful because they need to protect and defend their women and their money.
The need to protect their women is self explanatory. And because the North Indians run businesses and employ people they may justifiably think that they are entitled to pull rank. After all, they enable us to pay our bills.
Many North Indians are entrepreneurial and enterprising. Their women also are attractive and appear even more so because they sport western clothes. Add to that the influence of Bollywood and it is not surprising that they think they are first amongst equals.
Also they must also be having an adverse reaction to hostility and clannish behaviour by us South Indian folk. Maharashtrians and people of my community pretty much regard North Indians as outsiders in Mumbai. Especially people from BIMARU states who come here for employment and to escape the law and order situation in their home states.
Money talks. If you don’t have it you are not respected whether you are from the North or from the South.
What can be done to remedy the situation? That is, how can we get the North Indians to drop their disdainful attitude.
Mahatma Gandhi had a solution but unless you are very spiritual you will not take it seriously. Turn the other cheek. I have tried this solution and it works.
Basically respond with poker faced politeness when faced with insults. It will also be necessary to carry your weight and contribute in your jobs. And don’t judge. If the North Indians or anyone else are behaving badly it is up to God almighty to take them to task. Not you.
I can testify through personal experience that Mahatma Gandhi’s method works. People change their attitude and become friendly over time.
But this is unworkable because most people are simply not that spiritual.
What else to do?
Start businesses yourself. Employ North Indians. Then you can boss them around.
It is easier said than done to run a successful business of course.
Stop ogling and lusting after their women. Again this is easier said than done. Hee Hee.
So I don’t really have a solution.
What cannot be cured must be endured.
Endure politely and stay out of trouble. There are mistakes on both sides as far as tension between communities is concerned. Don’t think like a lawyer trying to win a case and try to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view.
I’ll conclude this blog with this anecdote. I should probably have started with this anecdote but its okay. When I did my CA articles in New Delhi I was mentored by a CA who was a true gentleman. He put up with me and tolerated my company at a time when my behaviour was so obnoxious that my own family did not know what to do with me. This CA was a Punjabi and a pukka Delhite. It is said – Dilli dilwalon ki sheher hai. This gentleman CA may not have been able to teach me how to make a living but through his example he taught me how to live. Otherwise I do not know what my situation would have been now.
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